Why paint?

There is no reason to paint.  Do it because it feels good.  Maybe it doesn't feel good for a long time.  Maybe it's boring.  But at some point, it feels good.  Maybe finishing the painting does feel good, because it still doesn't look quite right.  Maybe getting it right next time feels good.  But then it stops feeling good after a while.  Getting more money than last time feels good.  Then you wonder if you should raise the price again, but I'm not producing, and I'm not getting any commissions.  I have to start producing again, if I want commissions, if I want the money.

So it's for the money?  I don't need the money, so I don't need to paint.  No, it's not about the money.  It can't be about the money.  Money maybe comes with art, but most of the time it goes.

There can't be a reason to paint.  Paint just to paint.  Yeah, machine learning, AI, computers can make awesome art.  Prism is incredible.  I feel like I can't even compete with that.  It balances color, style, texture, contrast.  I feel like it does what I do with a painting, but better and faster.  And I think about how most people interact with paintings.  People spend a few seconds looking at it, then walk on or scroll down.  I might spend months on a piece that gets the same amount of attention as a Prism photo that took no effort.

Do people want paintings?  Yeah, I guess they do.  But I could just run a photo through prism and copy the result onto a canvas.  Or print it there.  But people want it to be original, hand-made.  I could still just copy it from a Prism picture.

But that's not my style.  I develop the painting like a sketch.  I don't have an end point in mind.  I just put down layers until I like the way it looks.  I talk to myself and vacillate between accepting myself and not being good enough--the painting kind of goes through that, too.

The process is what's important, because it is meditation, because I like my life more when I'm meditating regularly, because it's important that I like my life.  That's why paint.  Because I like my life when I paint.