I've been working on this cat for months. I started it before I moved into this house. I have the feeling I started it over on WSD, but could have been before that. Months. And moves.
There is a painting I started more than 10 years ago. Maybe around 2003, I would guess. It's the bald guy with the horns. I think I'll finish it someday.
This one is different. I have been actively working on it for months. To be fair, there have been weeks that I haven't painted at all. And there have been tons of days I have only worked on it for a few minutes. But there have been plenty of days I have poured hours into it. It's been on the brink of completion several times--well, twice. Maybe three times. Lately the end has seemed close, but today, just minutes ago, I realized the destination of this process is quite a lot of work away.
I have some thoughts about it. A painting shouldn't take this long. I'm forcing it, I'm not doing it right. I'm too relaxed, I'm not technically skilled enough. I should pay more attention to the details. It should be more detailed. It is too detailed. I'm a terrible painter. I'm embarrassing myself. I'm wasting my time. It is unrealistic to believe that I could paint something worthwhile.
Have the thoughts, continue painting.
The truth is that I'm not just painting a cat, I'm developing a style, I'm discovering a process. This painting does not look like paintings I have done before. Maybe it will be trash. Maybe this process makes things terrible.
More thoughts, continue painting.
Type up some stuff to avoid painting.
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